A few weeks ago I applied for a position in a wellness centre. As part of the application process I had to answer in writing several questions, one of which was, 'What are your top three values?'
In my coaching studies we did an hour-long webinar and lots of reading on values and beliefs as it is a key skill of coaching: to tune into a client's own values and beliefs, highlighting ones that empower the realisation of their best selves and identifiying limiting ones that get in their way. As these values are often unconscious, they can become outdated and even obstacles as we grow and shift on our life's journey.
I found it a challenging exercise to turn the focus inward to look at myself. It's not a common item on my to-do list. Is it on yours? Off the top of my head my list of values to choose from was pretty limited so I did a quick internet search and found hundreds of lists in all different styles and formats.
The advice I found when cruising sites was to look for ones that 'jumped' out at me. Imagining my new position and clients, I then plucked out three words: independence (why I was looking for a position), courage (what I needed to take this step), and respect (pretty obvious, I think!).
I felt quite satisfied with my choices, not only for the application but also because I felt I got to know myself a little better, and I quite liked what those values said to me about me. One thing that has struck home with me throughout my studies is that if I am to see the magnificence in every client, then I must also be able to see it in myself. As Anthony Robbins succenctly stated, 'The most important opinion a person will ever hold is the one they hold about themselves.'
To know what we stand for anchors us in our truth. Understanding our values and beliefs is an important part of self development on our journey to living our best life. They can guide our decisions, and they can be chopped and changed as our goals shift as we hurtle through our various life stages.
Find a list (the one I used is here) and look for words that jump out at you, keeping in mind your current goals. Chew them over. Do they fit? Are there others that you think you would prefer? A new phase of life can easily require a new set of principles. An offered position as a CEO with huge demands and commitments is hardly the time to prioritise more time at home with a partner or family. Values are essential to keep in mind when making decisions and to help prioritise actions. If my goals are wealth and productivity, it's probably not the best choice to join a girls' weekend away shopping in the big city.
Just in case you're interested, I never heard back from the wellness centre. After the first week I sent a follow-up email, after two weeks I decided to drop by the centre and check it out, pretending that I was a potential client. Lovely place. Great location. Not a soul there except the owner and colleague at lunch time on a weekday. Perhaps they are looking way ahead at a long range forecast. Or perhaps their values just aren't in aligment with mine. Whatever. A door will open soon enough. Especially with my newly tailored list of values to guide me.
