What's yours?

I got my first unsubscribe request today. Not my first rejection with all the projects I've worked on, but blogging is much more personal than fiction. At least it feels to me like it's a bigger risk.  Writing a story of fiction is bloody hard work, don't get me wrong, but to send my own personal observations out there on the net for others to read and judge? Yikes. I had to stop and think about how this unsubscribe request felt to me, naturally with a pen and paper.

When I wrote fiction, the point was always very clear: to entertain and inspire people to feel emotions, and hopefully help them feel connected to something greater, more universal. What then, are the points of my blogs?

A friend recently shared an incident with me when she talked herself out of trying something new by asking 'what's the point?' to her daughter, who snorted and said, 'there doesn't have to be a point to everything we do.' Are we so trapped in our left brains that we can't do something purely for pleasure? I think perhaps that I have missed the point of my writing: it's not about anyone else, it's about doing something I just have to do. For now, it's in the form of a blog.

What I've realised is that writing is my addiction. Blogs are the latest method to feed my habit. My husband once told me that I get 'feral' when I am between projects. Writing brings me back to myself, helps me clarify what's going on inside, allows me to connect to something bigger than my roles as daughter, wife, mother, daughter-in-law, friend, school parent, employee etc. 

The definition of addiction by the free online medical dictionary states:

Addiction is a persistent, compulsive dependence on a behavior or substance. The term has been partially replaced by the word dependence for substance abuse. Addiction has been extended, however, to include mood-altering behaviors or activities. 

This definition is abbreviated, and there is an interesting slew of information that follows about the costs to health care (in this case, in the US) to treat people addicted to substances.

Maybe we all have our own 'addictions'. Would you be more comfortable if I used the word 'hobbies'? But really, aren't all the activities a search for satisfying our soul, for altering our moods? Yes, some are much more serious and damaging, I agree. I just get grumpy when I don't make time to write. An alcoholic quitting cold turkey could shock the body into heart failure. A woman I know resorts to quilting. She knows its her day off or down time when she cuts, sorts, and stitches material together. When work overwhelms her, she goes home and quilts. We all know someone who pops a cork or laces up the running shoes. So what happens to people who haven't found a hobby, or just don't make time? Are they those grumpy people we run into all the time?

What's your addiction or hobby? What do you get from it? I would love to know. Meanwhile, I will keep on writing, because it is for my own peace of mind or soul. And when I get feedback telling me that I've struck a chord, that's great. And when someone else unsubscribes, well that's fine too. I've fiddled with my words and things make sense. Phew!