A Recurring Word

My word for this week is patience. It's been dancing around my thoughts over the past while, maybe year, as I wear myself out stressing about getting to wherever I'm going. Perhaps it's the forties, perhaps it's just me, but my journey seems to have a million hairpin turns with no end in sight. When will I be satisfied with my achievements? Patience, darling.

My husband came home this week describing the 'sales' attitude at his workplace as impatient. 'Just get the customer to sign now!' is the motto, where my husband traditionally has been the let's-build-the-relationship kind of salesman. I can relate to that impatient attitude. I want to be a best selling writer changing people's lives, and I want it now!

I've started a 12 week course at Humanworkplace.com and part of this week's lesson was to read and reflect on our life's journey. I must say I haven't given my history much thought, but after the exercises I realised that my strengths are the same now as they were in high school. How annoying as I thought some were recent revelations. As I reflected further on one particular article on our reading list, I became aware of the importance not only of the journey, but of honouring it, each and every step. The word patience flashed brightly like a neon sign in my mind.

I think now that if we slow down and look around ourselves more often, we will notice more, more of what's important, and more choices to bring on what we want. Once we stress that logical thinking part of our brain I referred to in my previous post shuts down. Just as asthmatics can't breathe so well once their chests tighten up, neither can our brain think clearly if we are tensed up and stressed.

One trick for me is thinking time. While I walk the dog, wash the dishes, cut up food for dinner, or sit and have a cup of tea, the more time I allot to pondering what's going on and how I can bring myself more fully to the present moment, the more I see. As a farmer harvests what is planted, our minds will harvest what we sow. Always thinking about what's next on the to do list? Then the focus will always be on how much there is to do and how rushed life is. Those funny people we all know, they always look for the joke, for the funny angle, and that's what they harvest. Who doesn't know someone who always manages to find the negative part of any situation? They look for what's too hard, too risky, too silly, too anything, and that's just what life will be for them.

 I've always envied meditators who can sit and empty their minds for periods of time. They seem so calm and centred and happy with exactly where they are in life. It must be nourishing for both body and soul. I started off intending to take ten deep breaths and usually made it to three before my mind wandered off like an errant sheep. Lately I've made it to eight. Not just sitting uncomfortably cross legged on the floor, but at my desk, or at the stove, or standing in a queue, or driving, or looking at the divine sweetness of a sleeping child before I collapse into bed with a treasured book. The result? My patience factor has increased. Imagine what meditating for half an hour might do for me.

Given how disabling stress can be and how great joy feels, I'm going to stick to deep breathing and ruminating as I charge through my days, and enjoy where I am with a patient frame of reference. Same list of things to do, just a different approach. It's certainly more fun, and I am more productive along with patient. Maybe today I'll make it to ten.