Pondering Pathways

Following the end of the 12 week program, Growing Strengths, Self-Belief and Superpowers, I thought I would feel nothing but relief. It was a full-on program, requiring weekly tweeks and okay yes, some complete rewrites of the original plan, to respond to the unique needs of this group of women. I enjoyed the challenges and the learning that came with the effort. Hence the anticipated relief after week 12. However, I find a pocket of despondence within.

There are a few prongs to my feelings. First, there is something quite amazing about watching a group of people transform. To witness brains absorb new material, see life in new ways, have moments of AHA, and moments of unstoppable grief, is a precious gift. From these moments, the brain creates new pathways, pathways to conscious living, to mindfulness in every aspect of their living, to choosing what is important and how to act by those choices, to empowered living, to becoming clear about what they want out of life.

Second, we had a bit of fun! I miss that. We bounced between serious moments of dismantling previous assumptions to imagining the most outlandish futures, and even poking some fun at each other. How serious and sad would life be without some fun to balance our struggles.

And the third reason for my despondence is because I'm missing that stumulation to think again about my own life. We can't ever go wrong having a look over our lives, our values, our beliefs, how we speak to ourselves, what guides our decisions, and what goals we are working towards. I think of my cluttered desk and study that I recently took apart and put together again with all the items I want rather than what had suited me at one time or another.

Now I take my thoughts and put them through another kind of workout, and okay yes, I am putting my family through some of the workout too. This weekend we are doing our own vision board workshop. What could be more fun than considering our lives and future, looking through inspiring magazines, cutting out meaningul phrases and pictures, assembling and pasting them in some amazing way to inspire ourselves and give us exciting pathways to work towards? Front and centre of my board will be the word: FUN. Where does it sit in your vision of your life, and what does that word mean to you?

Let me know!

An Imagination Workout

A client last week had a decision to make and was finding it difficult. Not a major life decision, but one that would impact upon several areas of her life.  I pulled out some blank paper and told her to write down or draw all the things that were important to her. I sat back and let her imagination take over. Once she finished, we then looked at the decision and checked how it stacked up against what she had determined were the most important things in her life. The decision became obvious to her, and she announced it with great personal satisfaction and complete ownership.

This week it was my turn. I have been putting off a decision for a good month or more, and today was the last chance I had to make it or tuck my tail between my legs and lay blame elsewhere: my to-do list, my family, my bank, my pet, my pen that ran out - you know, anywhere but with me. I'm a coach! I can't admit to a lack of skills, smarts, esteem, ability to manage myself! I thought back to my amazing client and decided I could do with my own imagination workout. I got out a large blank scrapbook I use for brainstorming, found a coloured pen with ink, and started to write. Wow, what an exercise! I thought I knew what was important in a vague, nebulous kind of way, but to see the words right there on paper: Wow. And it wasn't just the words, it was where some of the words overlapped, where patterns became visible, that really impressed upon me what truly pulled my heartstrings.

Something else that happened this week to guide my next decision. A friend of mine was telling me how sick to death she was of her boyfriend's mess, and how she recently announced to him that she would no longer visit him at his home or spend weekends with him there. No attack, no manipulation, no aggression. A simple but profound statement that said, What I need is important too, and this is my decision. I was so impressed.

And so I announced to my family who were blaring Prince's music and doing their thing on a Saturday morning that I was going to the library. No fights about my need for quiet, or being a martyr and whining about how little my needs mean, or demanding more support. (I know, I know, pathetic!) I felt empowered and that I had edged closer to an item on my list: self mastery. Ahhh, now doesn't that have a nice ring to it?