The word rebel has come up for me several times this week: at work by a parent struggling with a teenager, by a friend of the family struggling with a teenager, in the many parenting books I am currently reading, and by a reference to my teenage self as a rebel. That didn't sit well with me, as I never thought of myself as a rebel. More like aimless.
I have a friend who once shared a story with me. She was driving along, her three kids in the back all singing or gabbing away, when a policeman pulled her over for one thing or another. She lowered her window and this cop began to berate her. He used harsh words, a belligerent tone and was extremely rude. Afraid, one of the children began to cry. Despite the cop yelling at her to stay in her car, she said to him, 'what, do you think this is America?', and proceeded to climb out. She proceeded to explain to him that she had always taught her children to respect the law and police officers, that when they needed help they were to call for the police. His atrocious behaviour had undone all that by terrifying her young children, and what did he think he was accomplishing? Suitably chastened, the officer turned around and returned to his car.
When I first heard that story I was astonished and in awe. Get out of your car to face down a police officer? That takes guts!
The first famous people that came to my unilluminated mind were James Dean and Marilyn Monroe, but that seemed woefully inadequate, after all, James died speeding along at 24 in a terrible car crash and Marilyn at 36, addicted to alcohol and sleeping pills. Hardly an appealing goal for anyone.
Time Magazine this year in March published a list of history's most rebellious women in celebration of International Women's Day. This list, which includes photos, is made up of some absolutely amazing women. Some of them are Tawakul Karman, Aung San Suu Kyi, Harriet Tubman, Mary Wollstonecraft, Joan of Arc, etc. I urge you to take a look at this list and share it around and make sure every female, especially young ones, know who they are. Well, most of them anyway, as some listed here were so violent that I wondered why they were to be admired. Just because they were female?
Interestingly, I didn't find an equivalent list of rebellious men. Are there just too many? Is it too normal a behaviour for them? Or aren't there very many? When I googled 'rebellious men' I got pages of bible quotes, a few fashion stores, one of which had clothing styled after military gear. Is that rebelling? Looking like you're in the military, but you're not really? Is the intention to support our military?
Next I googled 'modern day rebels' and first up was a link to a hilarious series of pictures, a bit tongue in cheek, of 21 Modern Day Rebels Who Do What They Want at pophangover.com. My favourite has to be the smiling pooch unwittingly sitting behind a sign that states "No Dogs Beyond This Point," but the postage stamp was pretty clever too. I hope that poor dog clinging desperately to the signpost made it down safely.
The next links really weren't what I was looking for either. I decided to look up the definitions of rebel.
According to oxforddictionary.com, a rebel is a person who rises in opposition or armed resistance against an established government or leader; a person who resists authority, control, or convention. Not quite satisfied with this definition, which could describe any two-year-old testing boundaries, I found at vocabulary.com this definition: someone who exhibits great independence in thought and action; a person who takes part in armed rebellion against the constituted authority (especially in the hope of improving conditions). That last phrase is key for me - the hope of improving conditions - the reason for the behaviour, which can hardly be applied to teenagers getting pregnant or addicted to drugs or cutting school.
At psychologytoday.com I found a great article by Carl E. Pickhardt entitled Rebel with a Cause: Rebellion in Adolescence. He states that "although the young person thinks rebellion is an act of independence, it actually never is. It is really an act of dependency. Rebellion causes the young person to depend self-definition and personal conduct on doing the opposite of what other people want." It's a bit to chew over, but worth the effort. He also writes: "Rebellion can cause young people to rebel against their own self-interests - rejecting childhood interests, activities, and relationships that often support self-esteem." He offers an informative breakdown of the stages of rebellion from children aged nine all the way through to their early twenties, when the mind-set shifts from, 'You can't make me,' to 'I can't make me,' when the person is unable to get themselves out of bed for a job, complete assignments for class, or act in their own best interests. According to Pickhardt the last challenge of adolescence is to figure out how to end the rebellion against self interest and accept their leadership authority.
I think the best definition comes from urbandictionary.com: "a rebel is a person who stands up for their own personal opinions despite what anyone else says. A true rebel stands up for what they believe is right, not against what's right. It's not about smoking crack, drinking till you're rendered unconscious, or beating the crap out of anyone that crosses your path. It's all about being an individual and refusing the follow a crowd that forces you to think the same way they do even if it means being an outcast to society. True rebels know who they are and do not compromise their individuality or personal opinion for anyone. They're straightforward and honest and they will sure as hell tell you like it is."
It's convictions, it's guts, it's standing for a greater good, (eliminates many politicians, doesn't it?) and it's faith in who they are. That to me is a rebel. I only wish I was one! I'd love to hear your examples of who you think is worthy of being called a rebel.
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